Born in the southern village of Bint Jbeil, she was in her early twenties when the war began. At the time, she was living in a mixed neighborhood in East Beirut. Her sister, who was 11 years old, was killed the day the war erupted. A sniper killed her. A year and a half later, her father was killed. He had gone back to Beirut, after they had moved to Bint Jbeil following her sister’s death. Despite his grief, he had to go back to Beirut for work, as there was none in his hometown. He was killed trying to find work. She learned about his death through neighbors in the village, and it came as a shock. She recounts her father’s funeral, which was impressive, given his hometown people’s love for him. As for her sister’s funeral, all the townspeople attended it, as they empathized with the grief over the killing of an innocent 11-year old girl. They were able to carry out the funerals because the situation in Bint Jbeil at the time allowed it. Shortly after, the family moved to Hayy Madi in the southern suburbs of Beirut on account of their sectarian identity, as it was no longer possible then to live in a mixed area. She says that before the war, she would never differentiate between East Beirut and the rest; their neighbors there took care of them and helped them after their sister was killed; but the war generated feelings of sectarianism, resentment and hatred which only gained steam subsequently. She didn’t even know what war was, and never saw it coming.

They wouldn’t usually favor going to the shelter, as it was dirty and smelled foul. Once she couldn’t stand it anymore, and she went out; but a bullet landed in the door right next to her, and made her go back. Her main drive to seek shelter was to protect her children. The place of hiding however, or the decision to flee, depended on the intensity of the bombings; if it wasn’t too bad, they could stay under the staircase. If it was medium-level intensity, they would go to the shelter; and then, if it was really very strong, they would go to the South. Once, they got back from the South to Beirut, and found that their apartment had been burnt to the ground.

When she lived in Hayy Madi, she would make sure to shut the lights out of her apartment so that snipers couldn’t see through. And they lived that way, until one day a bomb fell on their staircase. She then decided to move to Bint Jbeil to stay alive. But because of the lack of work there, her husband returned to Beirut, but all he got was a fit of terror as he was trapped for 12 days in a siege in the area of Burj el Murr, as a battle raged.

Because of the water shortage, there was a rush to buy it; and people as a result used it with caution. They would no longer be able to bathe every day, and she started hearing rumors that there were diseases such as rabies that were spreading because of this. They would use the candles when there were electricity cuts. And gas was available to a certain extent.
As for the transportation of wounded people, she notes that the Red Cross was very slow and she knows of one woman who died because the Red Cross had arrived too late to save her.
They would be able to know whether their friends and relatives were fine through people who came and went.
After she lost her sister and her father, she lost all sense of celebration.
Moving about wasn’t an issue at the time; she was going through a phase of grief and depression which meant that she didn’t want to go out anyway. She only made the necessary visits, and these were conducted in haste because of the security situation.

When they lived in East Beirut or in Hayy Madi, they would get along fine with their neighbors and there were no problems between them because they were from a different religion. So she really does wonder about the reasons that led to the war. She blames parties, deputies, and leaders for spreading the notion of sectarianism, and she wonders since when this kind of division between the Sunnis and Shiites existed. The war is ongoing she says, as is the hatred between sects – and that, to her, is even more difficult to stand, than an actual war. This is a direct result, she says, of the incitement leaders keep practicing, instead of coming to terms with each other and focusing on citizens’ daily problems, which would be the only real way of overcoming the war’s after-effects. She is not in favor of migration and does not wish for the Lebanese youth to leave the country; but the negative situation in the country does lead people to leave. Also, as a witness of the horrors of a war, she calls upon all the political leaders to concentrate their efforts into preventing the recurrence of a new war.

Her memories of the civil war are directly related to Israel’s war and its invasion of her hometown. The destruction caused by the civil war reminds her of the July war [2006], and the traffic at checkpoints reminds her of the Beit Yahun checkpoint before reaching Bint Jbeil. Her family and herself would suffer from the long waits at these checkpoints, waits that were no more than the expression of the whims of those collaborating with Israel. She remembers one of those men, who would ask people to wait until the checkpoint opened; but then an entire day would pass, under a burning sun or fierce cold, and the checkpoint would remain closed. And these hours of waiting were supplemented by humiliation, insults, and bribery demands.

That a person gets killed on account of his name or religious affiliation happens only in Lebanon, she says. The snipers embodied this random killing; she recounts the story of a sniper who accidentally shot his brother who happened to be in an area controlled by that sniper, who was used to killing anyone who passed by there.

The strongest impact left by the war is the killing of her sister and her father, who to her, represent all the innocent people who were killed during that war.

On whether she holds any grudges against Christians, she doesn’t say yes or no. But she does say that she doesn’t know who, among them, loves her and who hates her. She does keep in mind that they were once neighbors and friends, but she cannot forget that those days are gone and the polarization has gained strength, and that the war continues through politics and its actual reigniting is something to be expected.

The ideal solution to her was to leave the country, but she didn’t have enough money or the right opportunity to do so. But the situation in the country is so bad, she says, that people are driven to leave, and especially the youth.